forgive or forget? the clock is ticking.

“i’m sorry”

two words. overplayed. on repeat. 

for so long that i don’t know if they stand a chance at having any meaning left in them.

it’s easy. it’s convenient.

you fuck up. and you say “i’m sorry.”

it’s all better now. right? or it should be at least. because that is what is expected??

forgiveness is a tricky thing.

they say that it’s important to learn and to know how to forgive. that it’s the key to living a happy and fulfilling life. 

but how is that fair? 

think about it.

someone fucks up. over and over. and then all of a sudden they say the two words. so familiar to them that it rolls off the tongue like no other.

“i’m sorry”

and you’re supposed to forgive them?

if someone knows that they will be forgiven. no matter what they hurt or break while they go along destroying what’s left.

what’s to stop them from continuing to do so?

there’s nothing.

that is why. i believe not everyone is worthy of forgiveness. okay okay. scratch that. i mean YOUR forgiveness.

yes, not forgiving causes anger. hatred. that’s not a lie. they are right about that. you can fight it all you want but there will still be some inside of you. no matter how much you try to hide it.

but look.

life isn’t perfect. it’s not some dandy lil happy place where joy and cheerfulness exist 24/7. anger. hatred. these things exist. it’s reality.

but forgiving someone who doesn’t deserve it? not from you at least. that causes SELF hatred. the worst kind.

the kind that strips away your original self. leaving you in little pieces. not knowing what to do next with yourself.

but listen. i’m NOT saying to not forgive. i’m NOT saying to not use those two words together. 

i’m saying to know your worth. and give meaning to those two words together to show your sincerity. the true value within them.

because words are just words. ‘til there is feeling put behind them. genuine feeling.

so yes. forgive or forget. because at the end of the day...

you need to know what takes priority over the other. and when.

or it’ll tear you apart.

and don’t worry. if you decide to forget. you aren’t a bad person. it doesn’t mean they are destined for no one. or that they’ll go nowhere because of YOU. they’ll get their chance. somewhere. with someone else. it’ll happen. the universe is pretty chill like that.

so pls know better. do better. for your own sake.

because each one of you. you deserve it.